#B1- Welcome AvPD

Welcome AvPD Community :)

Hey AvPD Community,  I’m QG, aka Quiet Girl!  Welcome to my blog on AvPD! I gave myself the nickname Quiet Girl because every since I can remember I have been asked this question, “Why are you so quiet?”. Is this just me or does this sound familiar to you? In addition,  I decided to be anonymous because my AvPD brain made up another irrational story that someone from my job would somehow out of the thousands of blogs find my blog, and one day because they secretly never liked me, will share my diagnosis with everyone in my office, and I will be so shocked and embarrassed about how my coworkers would then think of me that I wouldn’t know what to do so I would either freeze or run out of the office crying, which would be my worst nightmare. So to protect myself from this misconceived danger I will remain anonymous because I’m still a work in progress:) Can you relate to having an AvPD brain???

What is AvPD?-  If you don’t know now you know

I’m assuming if you are reading this  you might have been diagnosed with AvPD or might want to better understand what a special person in your life who is diagnosed with AvPD is experiencing. Or for those of you have never heard of it , AvPD is Avoidant Personality Disorder here is a link to learn more about it https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/avoidant-personality-disorder#definition

So you know the official definition. But here goes my definition. At first,  when you hear the term Avoidant you automatically think a person with AvPD just wants to avoid being around people. But let it be clear! For me, I love people and I want to be around people. However, I love people so much that I put them on this enormous, gigantic, titanic  pedestal! Like they are gods walking around on earth, to the point that I forget that they are only human just like me.  And because I hold people with such high regard, I put myself down because I can’t compare, I’m not good enough, I’m inferior, etc. Ultimately, in order to protect my feeling and avoid getting hurt, it results in me avoiding people in social situations in fear that I will be embarrassed or rejected by them. There is more to this diagnosis and I plan to go more into depth in the complexity of this disorder in future blogs.

It’s all about me me me with AvPD

I was recently diagnosed with AvPD. I thought I was pretty knowledgeable about mental health disorders but I had never heard of AvPD until my therapist talked to me about it to see what I thought. But as she listed the symptoms, I felt like I was aceing this AvPD test and it didn’t feel good. At first, it made me depressed because having a personality disorder just sounded so harsh to me. But then it was like a weight was lifted off of me...I have gotten to the root of the problem. I’m usually anxious and depressed most of the time but that was the mask. In all honesty the reason why I feel so miserable all the time is because I think I suck! After that wonderful epiphany (sarcasm),  I wanted to share my testimony in hopes that it would help others who are suffering from this disorder so we can help each other on this AvPD journey.

Say it Loud… I have AvPD and I’m Proud

I wanted to connect with people like me so I began searching online for people in the AvPD community. I have been watching your YouTube videos, listening to your podcasts, reading your posts on differents forums. I applaud all of you brave people who have shared your stories because I know it’s not easy for us to put ourselves out their like that even if we have the safety of being behind a laptop. I’ve seen how debilitating this disorder can be for some of you who can’t leave their house, to those of you who are able to maintain healthy a relationship and manage to go to work everyday and support your family.

I’m hoping with this blog we can grow together as individuals and as a community. Lets’ face it  from what I have researched AvPD is a lifetime deal. My intention for this blog is to tell help our challenging lives be less difficult and more joyful. I plan to create a platform where we can share our experiences, exchange good coping strategies, and resources.

Throw it in the Bag

Writing this blog has been very therapeutic for me. A coping strategy you can put in your bag of coping strategies is Journaling. I believe journaling is a very powerful tool to help you heal regardless if you have AvPD or any other mental health disorder. I’ve done it in the past but never constintenly so I’m hoping this blog will give me more motivation to do it frequently.  So give it a try. Here is a link that cosigns it.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/thai-nguyen/benefits-of-journaling-_b_6648884.html

Hey I have AvPD and I’m sensitive about my sh@#!

Thank you for taking the time to visit and read my blog! I hope you share and can come back soon. On the next blog I want to start our conversation  from the beginning. What is the cause of AvPD? What is your theory?  So I will doing some research online in the AvPD community to see what you all are saying about this topic so we can compare notes.

Please use the PCP format if you are leaving a comment, which is start with a Positive statement, then Critical observation, and end on a Positive note! And overall please follow the golden rule if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all!  (My AvPD brain kicking in again. Of course I’m already thinking that if I get any comments at all it would all be negative. Again I’m a work in progress just pray for me please!)

Thanks!

QG